About My Big Girl Panties

So my client asks me to fly to LA and meet with them on Thursday this week...

"Oh (nasty word) what the (nasty word) am I going to wear."

Now I know, all you ladies are with me here. You all feel the same way...but here's the thing. I sweat...a lot...which causes everyone else to say "Oh I know what you mean, I sweat a lot too." But let me just say this once "NO YOU DON'T!!! Unless you have a medical diagnosis you don't know what that means...seriously, Men Glow, Horses Perspire, I SWEAT!!!!" Grown men have walked up to me in clubs and said "Wow, you sweat a lot." People regularly ask me if I just got out of the shower...REGULARLY...not occasionally, not once in a while...all the time!

So when you tell me I'm going to have to get up at 4 am (that makes me sweaty), leave the house in the dark (it's cold and I am wet so now I'm freezing), get on an airplane (it's hot, it's cold, now I'm all clammy), get off the plane (it's cold in the airport, I'm worried it looks like I wet my pants), go to meeting after meeting in hot humid conference rooms (Can they tell I'm nervous? I think so since I just sweat my way through a blouse, a sweater, and a suit jacket in about 10 minutes. On the other hand, I'm not actually nervous...but it sure looks like I am!), leave the rooms go outside where it's freezing cold ("It's nice to meet you Mr. CEO...uh no you don't want to shake my hand, it's icy cold and soaking wet"), only to go back into a different hot steamy conference room...I think you are getting the picture. Basically if I could do that in some sort of high-tech athletic gear that wicks the sweat away I might be OK...but I can't. I have to put on my big girl panties and try to find something that will absorb the "perspiration" without it showing.

Add to this the fact that they don't make pants for girls with no butt. They just don't...and all you ladies with nice juicy round derrierres who whine because you always have to take in the waistband of your pants...(angry nasty word) you...at least it is possible to tailor pants so they fit you...YOU CAN'T take in the butt of your pants and you can't let out the waist!!!! The only place you can buy pants for someone who is square through the middle is the Junior's section...just try to find a pair of slacks for work in the Junior's section...not to mention I am too big to fit in most Junior clothing. I've only ever found 2 pairs of pants that actually look like work pants and also fit me...and when I get too fat for them or they wear out I'm going to have to retire!

So the idea of putting on my big girl panties and spending the day at a client's office in LA is just about as close to my idea of hell as I can get...

But I did it. I pulled myself together, dealt with the insomnia the night before and the meeting new people and the pants that don't fit and the sweating in the conference rooms and the splitting headache from not enough sleep...I wore my big girl panties all day and pretended the 2 hour car ride between their facilities didn't make me car sick and acted like I wasn't desperate to get back in my jammies and take a nap all day long...

And I guess it went OK because at the end of the day they said "Wow this was a great meeting, when can you come back?"