Snaps from the Ski Trip 2013

So I've learned over the years that I totally suck at taking photos of my Girl Scout outings. I never have a camera when I want one or I miss the action shot or...to be honest I get so involved in what I am doing I just plain forget that I own a camera even though it's hanging from it's handy dandy little strap right around my neck.

So this year I decided to take written snaps! And here you go, my top 30 (or so) moments from the trip in no particular order.

Waking up at 8:30 on Saturday to find the 6th grade girls had cooked breakfast and were laying it out on a lovely little tray! (now if I could just train them to bring me coffee in bed!)

Emma R overhearing my little dream about coffee in bed and volunteering to learn how to make coffee!

The porcupine, bobcat and mule deer tracks in the fresh snow when we arrived at the cabin.

Telling the girls that we needed to be out of the cabin early and suggesting at the Saturday evening meeting that the girls might want to get their snow stuff together for the next morning. (Seriously I actually said "I suggest you might want to...") Then going around a half hour before bedtime to tell them they might want to start gathering their stuff for the next morning only to have them ALL tell me they already did it hours ago...and they actually had ALL done it!!!

The kickfight on the living room floor with Maia, Holly, Emma M, and a couple of the other girls which I joined in. (setting a bad example I know but totally enjoying a moment of pure goofy fun!)

The look on the girls faces when I joined in!

The fact that I could let my guard down and join in without worrying that it would escalate out of control and I'd have to go back to being the barky leader.

Teaching Madeleine how to do a "pizza turn" and watching her posture change as she started at last to feel she had a little bit of control over her skis! (This was one of those moments that makes it ALL worth it!!!)

Having Daisy and Alexandra talk to me in Spanish while Belle talked to me in French and Katie looked at us all like we'd lost our marbles! (I don't speak either French or much Spanish by the way.)

A lot of laughing girls.

Watching Jayme and Yuval come screaming down the terrain park with these HUGE grins on their faces! (and yes I do mean screaming!)

Skiing with Sarah who once again proved herself to be plucky and resilient!

Watching the joy on Emma M's face as she skied for the first time (and did her 400th faceplant) A new substance to smear on her face!!!! She was one happy camper!

Clara: This hot chocolate is cold (with a totally affronted look on her face)
Me: That's because you put cold water in it...you can't blame me for that.
Me: (peeling an egg really badly) Now look what you did to my egg...This is payback for the chocolate isn't it???
Clara: Pause...little grin growing into full fledged impish smile!

Standing at the top of the terrain park with Maia and Allison for their very first time attempting it, totally unsure...and getting to be there for the moment they both decided to go for it!

Running into Ashlyn (Holly's Cousin who was with us for parts of the trip) who had given up on her lesson because it wasn't working for her and she wasn't sure if she ever wanted to ski again. Then getting to see the look of triumph on her face when she came back at the end of the day and she had managed (with the help of her dad) to conquer her fear!!

Me: Madeleine is very cerebral.

• Kerensa: What is cerebral?
• Me: It means you need to think about things and understand them before you do them.
• Leigh (my co-leader): Kind of like you Kerensa
• (5 minutes and many topics of conversation later)
• Kerensa: Perhaps I am a bit cerebral.
• (Leigh laughed so hard she snorted!!!)
• (Twice!!!)

Seeing Eden, Savannah, Jo, and Emma R head off to ski all by themselves at the top of the mountain! And having them be responsible enough to get back on time for both lunch and the end of the day!! What a long way these girls have come!

Amanda asking me if she could help pretty much every time she saw me.

The girls making up whole other Eskimo lives they were living and making snow bowls, cups, spoons and other utensils....and then ending up making "snow Rubber Duckies for the baths we (Eskimos) don't take" and "snow Heart Shaped Bowls for Valentine's Day which we don't celebrate."

Claire and her crew working so well together.

Lynn telling me she always does something that is a bit scary on my trips and she's always glad she did it!

Holly wandering through the cabin with her penguin feet because the pants I gave her were about a mile too long...and it didn't bother her at all!

Bright jumping out of the car with her carsick bag and running across the parking lot laughing and showing everyone that she threw up in the car...kind of gross, totally funny and VERY Bright! I wanted to suggest she bring it to her classroom for "Show and Tell"...but I restrained myself :)

Realizing how far we all have come together and how much easier all our trips are now that the girls are starting to understand how important they are to making them work!

As I made this list in my mind I realized that there isn't a single girl on the trip who wasn't involved in one way or another in many of these memories. And those who got left off a specific memory, it's because they were moving so fast that their faces are blurry in every snapshot I have of them in my mind. I went into this trip really exhausted from all the details and how complicated the logistics of this one were...it just didn't feel worth it...and I came out of it loving my Scouts and realizing again that although "it" might not be worth it...They are definitely worth it. And I really can't ask for more than that!

Pre-teens and Limits

OK everyone looking for a rant, look away now...it's gonna' get mushy in here!

We had our 6th Grade Cadette Girl Scout meeting this week and we were focused on Peer Pressure. One of the questions that we asked the girls was if they thought it was OK to go to a party when the parents of the kids in the house were not there the whole time. I was totally surprised to find that their answer to that question was entirely dependent on which parents knew what. They pretty much said "we think it's fine as long as the adults know what is going on and set some limits to keep us safe." I kid you not. I was floored by that!

I always heard that pre-teens (and teens) want limits but that they would never tell you that...but apparently they not only want limits, they actually know that they want limits and, if you ask them, they'll TELL you they want limits....How cool is that?

I didn't really get it how important those limits are for making our kids feel safe...but the girls sure did!

So here's my thought for the week: giving your kids really clear boundaries gives them freedom. They feel safe and that lets them go out and explore their world. Personally, I think that is something I need to learn in my own life. Maybe if I could give myself some really clear boundaries (particularly when it comes to work) I could give myself more freedom to explore my world! And how cool would that be!

Why life is like Splash Mountain

I am a HUGE Disneyland fan. I think that Disney does families better than anyone else on earth and I love the creativity and whimsy in all their rides.

On the other hand...I hate free fall. Rides with enormous long drops scare the Bejeezus out of me. So for many, many years I avoided Splash Mountain. And the longer I avoided it, the scarier it became in my head. Now normally that's not an issue because I don't give a rat's rear end about the rides in most amusement parks. If I never go on the Loopdy Loop Roller Coaster of DOOM (or whatever it's called) I can live the rest of my life quite happily. But I REALLY wanted to see the ride part of Splash Mountain...I really really wanted to. All the bits before the long drop show the tale of Bre'r Rabbit and I was totally curious about that because I don't know the story very well and I thought it would be a treat to see a lesser known Disney story come to life...

So, a few years ago, I finally plucked up all my courage, waited in the hour long line and got on the ride...to be honest I don't remember much about the inside of the ride because I was so busy being terrified of the long drop coming up at the end of the ride. And let me tell you it was AWFUL. It went on for about 6 years and I thought it would never end...I seriously thought passing out might be a great way to deal with the whole experience. And I SWORE Never again.

But fate has a way of intervening on those things you swear about...so this trip we were walking by Splash Mountain at about 9pm...it was cold so the line was only 10 minutes and Maia (who is even more scared of big drops than I am) said..."I think I want to try it."

"You ratfink!!!! I was counting on you to save me from ever having to go on that ride again...and now I have to act like I am the grown up! I HATE it when you do that to me!!!"

But I plucked up my courage again and off we went. This time though I decided that I needed to just allow myself to die during the big drop. So I rode the ride and actually saw the story and enjoyed the Disney-ish-ness and when the drop came, I closed my eyes and opened my mouth and just let go...and it was over before it even started...what was I so dang scared of???

And as we walked away from the Mountain I realized that the first time I went on that ride, I tried to control the giant drop with the power of my mind...and I know you'll be SHOCKED to hear this, but it turns out I'm not very good at mind control...the second time, I just let it be what it was and it turned out to be fun...

So here's why Splash Mountain is like life:
1) You can't control the ride with the power of your mind.
2) Even though you know the big drop is coming...you might as well enjoy the scenery along the way. The big drop won't be less awful if you spend all your time anticipating it.
3) Bre'r Rabbit is sort of classist and racist and doesn't make much sense...but it sure is colorful when you Disney-fy the heck out of it!
4) If you decide you are going to die and you are going to be OK with that outcome you gain some amazing perspective on all the little stuff.
5) I'm probably not a fun person to go to amusement parks with...I'm at the point where even I wish I would shut up, stop philosophizing and just get on the damn ride!

New Year's Resolutions

OK...let me start with the fact that I HATE New Year's Resolutions...what a stupid way to make myself feel like crap next year when I couldn't live up to the lofty goal of losing 40 lbs and becoming a star on Dancing with the Stars (or Project Runway or whatever other crap-tastic reality show I decide I can't stop drooling over this year.) Yes I am the ultimate crappy reality TV junkie...I'm at the point where if someone spent time actually writing a really good story with plot twists and character development...I just can't be bothered... What the heck happened to me? Personally, I blame Maia...after all that's why I had her...so I'd have someone to blame. Just ask her, she'll tell you!

So with that caveat, I'd like to give you a nice list of all the things I'm going to fail at this year!
1) No matter how hard I try, I won't be fitting into my skinny pants...in fact I might be upgrading to a fatter pair of fat pants...I'll let you know!

2) I am not going to beat my addiction to sugar...no matter how many AA meetings I attend...for F---s sake, they serve coffee with sugar and donuts at AA meetings...so how the hell is that supposed to help me with my addiction?

3) I am not going to stop watching crappy reality TV...no matter how crappy it is it's better than sitting here listening to the voices in my head argue about absolutely nothing.

4) I am not going to run a marathon...or a half marathon...or even a 10 K...I hate running...I only do it because it's an excuse to turn the music up really loud...which occasionally drowns out the voices in my head making fun of my musical taste (you would also make fun of my musical taste if you knew what was on my iPod -- everyone always does! Which is why I only listen to it when I am running...because then at least I have a good excuse to run away from all those people making fun of my music.)

5) I am not going to save the world, the whales, the pandas or that little blue butterfly that lives on the hill above South San Francisco and prevents the developers from getting their grubby paws on the land up there and developing it. If all goes well though, I might rescue a few worms from the gutter the next time it rains.

6) I am not going to win volunteer of the year or any other award for changing the lives of at-risk youth! I might manage to volunteer to go surfing with Maia's class in the Spring...but even that seems a bit lofty.

7) I'm not going to represent my Council at the International Girl Scouts anything... because pretty much I doubt my council even knows I exist...and if they do it's only because I annoy them with so much high-risk paperwork. (Is it me or does anyone else find it rather difficult to imagine how paperwork can be high-risk...unless your pen leaks on your shirt...or maybe you get a bad paper cut...)

8) I am not going to be a better person, rise above, or turn the other cheek. I am planning to be petty and small and hold grudges even if the only person who knows about them is me...and especially if the only damage they do is to make me feel lousy :)

9) I am not going to be a better parent, friend, sister, daughter, Girl Scout leader, Aunt, cousin, stepsister or acquaintance. I pretty much gave all I had to give this year...so if that wasn't enough...I guess I'll never live up to your high standards...which makes me feel sad...look, now I am already feeling lousy because of my New Year's resolutions...didn't I tell you that the only point of them was to make me feel bad!

10) I am not going to become a rock star, supermodel, famous actress, Broadway headliner, opera singer, musician of any kind, singer, songwriter, famous author...or any other sort of celebrity...minor or major...if you all are lucky, I might comb my hair occasionally before I go out of the house just in case I'm recognized by the checkout guy at the supermarket that I go to every day to feed my sugar addiction (see resolution #2).

And I think that's about it...hope you all have a happy healthy 2013 and please God let it be better than 2012...for everyone, everywhere!

About My Big Girl Panties

So my client asks me to fly to LA and meet with them on Thursday this week...

"Oh (nasty word) what the (nasty word) am I going to wear."

Now I know, all you ladies are with me here. You all feel the same way...but here's the thing. I sweat...a lot...which causes everyone else to say "Oh I know what you mean, I sweat a lot too." But let me just say this once "NO YOU DON'T!!! Unless you have a medical diagnosis you don't know what that means...seriously, Men Glow, Horses Perspire, I SWEAT!!!!" Grown men have walked up to me in clubs and said "Wow, you sweat a lot." People regularly ask me if I just got out of the shower...REGULARLY...not occasionally, not once in a while...all the time!

So when you tell me I'm going to have to get up at 4 am (that makes me sweaty), leave the house in the dark (it's cold and I am wet so now I'm freezing), get on an airplane (it's hot, it's cold, now I'm all clammy), get off the plane (it's cold in the airport, I'm worried it looks like I wet my pants), go to meeting after meeting in hot humid conference rooms (Can they tell I'm nervous? I think so since I just sweat my way through a blouse, a sweater, and a suit jacket in about 10 minutes. On the other hand, I'm not actually nervous...but it sure looks like I am!), leave the rooms go outside where it's freezing cold ("It's nice to meet you Mr. CEO...uh no you don't want to shake my hand, it's icy cold and soaking wet"), only to go back into a different hot steamy conference room...I think you are getting the picture. Basically if I could do that in some sort of high-tech athletic gear that wicks the sweat away I might be OK...but I can't. I have to put on my big girl panties and try to find something that will absorb the "perspiration" without it showing.

Add to this the fact that they don't make pants for girls with no butt. They just don't...and all you ladies with nice juicy round derrierres who whine because you always have to take in the waistband of your pants...(angry nasty word) you...at least it is possible to tailor pants so they fit you...YOU CAN'T take in the butt of your pants and you can't let out the waist!!!! The only place you can buy pants for someone who is square through the middle is the Junior's section...just try to find a pair of slacks for work in the Junior's section...not to mention I am too big to fit in most Junior clothing. I've only ever found 2 pairs of pants that actually look like work pants and also fit me...and when I get too fat for them or they wear out I'm going to have to retire!

So the idea of putting on my big girl panties and spending the day at a client's office in LA is just about as close to my idea of hell as I can get...

But I did it. I pulled myself together, dealt with the insomnia the night before and the meeting new people and the pants that don't fit and the sweating in the conference rooms and the splitting headache from not enough sleep...I wore my big girl panties all day and pretended the 2 hour car ride between their facilities didn't make me car sick and acted like I wasn't desperate to get back in my jammies and take a nap all day long...

And I guess it went OK because at the end of the day they said "Wow this was a great meeting, when can you come back?"

Field trips - should we or shouldn't we?

Warning: If you are waiting for me to have a good old rant about something funny...this isn't it. This is just a dump of all the angst spinning around in my head. I figured I'd put it out in the universe and then it might become homeless and forget where it used to live...and move into a shelter where some nice pastor will make sure it is clothed and fed and not a danger to itself or anyone else! (You know I don't want it sleeping in a cardboard box or anything...I just want it to move out and stop making me feel nuts!)

If you are still with me, put on your galoshes and get ready for me to take myself WAY too seriously for a couple of paragraphs...

At the beginning of the year I always have 500 ideas for field trips we should go on...but by this time in the year I am starting to feel bad about the whole schedule. It seems like for many folks the field trips are an inconvenience because they interfere with soccer or church or other family activities. The cost of some of them can be on the high side which makes some people unhappy even though there is financial aid available (that no one ever uses) and I always end up having to send a lot of email which I am pretty sure drives everyone nuts (including me by the way).

But the girls seem to love the field trips. I have a feeling the field trips are a big part of why our troop is so strong and so bonded and why everyone in the troop feels like we have something special. Plus the real reason I am a Girl Scout leader is for those moments when I get to be with a girl and watch her challenge herself and try something new. The moment I see that "Wow, I was scared and I didn't realize I could do that...but I did it anyway" look come across her face it makes my heart sing like nothing else on earth. And that usually only happens on the Field Trips. So I take them outside and I look for new opportunities for them to challenge themselves. But maybe that's just selfish because that is what I love...I just don't know... 

So let me ask you this. What would you do? Continue to plan the trips and the torpedoes be dammed? Try to take everyone's personal situation into account for every field trip (and end up in the looney bin)? Stop planning so many field trips? Only do inexpensive trips we can do during meeting times? Seriously...what would you do?

Personally I just don't know what the right answer is. 

With any luck though, I'll be struggling with this dilemma for quite some time to come...because if I am it means my troop is together and strong and we are all doing new things together (and the parents haven't tossed me out on my ear for causing too much trouble) :)

Gratitude

I am grateful for:
All the girls in my troop!
The parents who let me take their girls into the woods and into the water and into the wilderness.
The pure Power to Weight ratio that means I will never keep up with my Scouts but I will always enjoy the attempt!
The girls who encourage me.
The girls I encourage.
The times I didn't want to go on a trip (that I organized) and the fact that I went anyway!
The girls putting up with me even when I am barking.
The tween years when our kids walk so easily between serious adult conversation and playing with their Calico Critters. May they get to keep that ability for as long as possible.
The friends I've made through Scouting.
The days I've spent in the woods, trees, ocean, mountains... with my scouts.
My sweetheart who hates anything resembling organized groups and couldn't be more proud of me or more supportive of my crazy scouting schedule.
My daughter who forced me into Scouting kicking and screaming! (thanks Maia...that was the best present you ever gave me!)

I'm not sure if gratitude is a Scouting Value...but I am sure they wouldn't disapprove!
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