It's time for lunch...

So I went to my doc this week for a routine check up and she gave me the standard you are getting fatter lecture. And yes it's true I've gained some weight this year (and last year...and the year before if I am honest with myself). I weigh more now than I ever have and I can't fool myself that it is "baby weight" or muscle or any of the million other reasons we give ourselves...I'm just fatter. I just am. My clothes don't fit the way I want them to and I hate getting dressed in the morning.

I've been fighting this battle since I was 13. And make no mistake it is a battle. Every morning I gird my loins with my uniform of t-shirt and baggy hoodies and the same 3 pairs of jeans (and god help me if I needed to wash my jeans because now I need to stretch them out again!). I get out my weapons... the celery sticks and the water with lemon and I pray to the gods of willpower for the strength to get through the 3-5pm slump when my enemy sends in reinforcements in the form of low blood sugar, boredom, and low self esteem.

I start out with good intentions and feeling strong...but then comes the time when I actually have to eat something...and let's face it, we all do...And that is when the PSD comes into play. The voices in my head start screeching and the battle cries of my enemy get louder and louder.
"Oh (nasty words) I'm hungry..."
"What do you want to eat?"
"Cake of course."
"Be serious would you."
"I should eat something healthy...like fruits and vegetables...but I can't eat any fruit..or any beets or potatoes or winter squash or parsnips or root vegetables..."
"Carrots?"
"Carrots are a root vegetable."
"Broccoli?"
"Maybe...but don't put any salt or butter or sauce of any kind on it. And steam it because all other methods add calories or destroy the nutritional value."
"Maybe I could have some protein...protein is good for you."
"OK but don't eat any beans or red meat or cheese or bacon or pork or dark meat from poultry or egg yolks."
"Ummm...chicken breast?"
"OK but only boneless skinless chicken breast and don't eat it fried...or baked or barbecued with any sauce, or pan fried."
"Poached maybe?"
"OK but be careful what you poach it in..."
"What about bread? I love bread."
"You can't have any bread. Bread is for skinny people!"
"Maybe I could have half a...

And usually somewhere about this time Alex says "So what should we have for dinner tomorrow?"

"Oh f-word!!!! I have to eat something tomorrow?!/!?"